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The Untamed Mackenzie (Mackenzies Series) Page 12
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“Louisa.” He could barely get out her name. “No.”
It was the hardest thing he’d ever said. Louisa released her hold on his coat, but only to slide her hands around his neck. “Lloyd.”
The whisper was the first time he’d ever heard her speak his name.
He felt something break apart inside him, a breath of air that cleansed everything soiled within him. Fellows’ arms went around her, and their bodies moved together down to the flat surface of the desk. Daniel’s coat fell from Louisa’s shoulders, pooling on the hard wood and all the papers beneath her.
Louisa made another little gasp as he kissed her again, and Fellows took advantage. He kissed her parted lips, licking them, suckling them.
She didn’t stop him, didn’t fight him. Louisa kissed him back, trying to imitate what he did, which was sweet and erotic at the same time.
Fellows moved from her lips to her throat and the black ribbon and cameo. Fellows bit the innocent cameo then brushed his tongue down the curve of her neck to her breasts. Soft skin rose above the neckline of her bodice, the slight salt taste of her making him want more.
She’d be damp and warm under the gown, the space between her legs moist and welcoming. Fellows wanted to taste her, to sink his tongue into her and take her goodness into his mouth.
He could have her. Raise her skirts, kiss her thighs, enjoy her delights and bring her to heights of pleasure. Louisa’s restless hands in his hair, her leg still twined around his, told him she wanted him, wanted this.
Fellows licked across the top of her breasts, his tongue catching the fabric of the bodice. The satin’s dry contrast to Louisa’s skin only spiraled his need to near madness.
“Lloyd,” Louisa said again.
Her beautiful, throaty voice caressed his name. Everything painful in him washed away on its sound . . .
Someone coughed.
Reality came crashing back into Fellows so hard he lost his next breath. He took his mouth from Louisa’s breast and carefully raised his head.
He expected Daniel. Embarrassing, but Daniel might be trusted to keep silent. The lad already suspected Fellows’ intense interest in Louisa. Fellows would apologize for taking the liberty and explain the situation, then ask that Daniel keep it to himself. If Fellows could explain.
The young man standing inside the doorway wasn’t Daniel. It was Constable Dobbs.
Dobbs was about nineteen, eager to learn, eager to please. He had close-cropped blond hair, blue eyes, and a tall, Viking-like body.
Right now, his fair face was scarlet. “Sir.”
“Out,” Fellows said.
“Sir.” Dobbs nodded nervously. “Sorry, sir.”
Even as Dobbs turned for the open door, he peered surreptitiously at Louisa, trying to make out who she was. Catching Fellows’ glare, he turned quickly away and sidled out, leaving the door open.
Louisa’s eyes were wide with alarm, her breathing rapid as she struggled to sit up. Fellows helped her from the desk and steadied her on her feet. Louisa’s hair was mussed, red ringlets straggling down her neck, her face as flushed as Dobbs’ had been.
No apology came from Fellows’ lips. He wouldn’t apologize for doing something he’d longed to do with everything inside him.
“Dobbs won’t say a word,” Fellows said.
Louisa reached for the coat, not looking at him, her cheeks still red. “We should find Daniel.”
She slid the coat around her shoulders. Fellows helped her settle it, but still Louisa wouldn’t look at him.
The moment was fragile. One wrong word, and she’d be lost to him forever.
But there were no right words. Fellows wasn’t elegantly articulate, like Mr. Franklin, or glib like Daniel. He’d learned plain speaking from his mother, as well as the value of keeping his mouth shut when the situation called for it.
He said nothing.
Louisa wouldn’t look at him, but she didn’t bow her head. She was a proud lady, from a long line of proud people. She was elegant and regal and wouldn’t crumble to dust because a police detective kissed her on his desk.
Fellows led her out the door. Louisa didn’t blindly rush away; she walked calmly with him through the empty corridors and down the stairs. Neither of them spoke or even looked at each other.
Daniel leaned on a desk inside the front door, talking and laughing with the sergeant there. When Daniel saw Fellows and Louisa, he straightened up in surprise. The sergeant quickly found something else to do, but Daniel’s eyes narrowed as he looked them over.
Fellows led Louisa past Daniel without a word and out into the street. The hansom cab still waited outside. Daniel, who’d insisted on paying the fare, must have tipped the driver well.
Fellows handed Louisa into the cab. She gripped his hand without hesitation as she stepped inside, but still she didn’t look at him.
“Take her home,” Fellows said to Daniel.
Louisa leaned forward, finally meeting his eyes. “Aren’t you coming?”
Fellows shook his head. “Have things to do, and my flat isn’t far from here. Daniel will escort you home.”
“That he will,” Daniel said. “Good night.” He didn’t look pleased that Fellows was deserting Louisa, but at least he didn’t argue. He climbed in after Louisa and settled onto the seat with a swing of kilt and a boisterous thump.
“Good night.” Fellows closed the door to the hansom with a snap.
Louisa continued to watch him. Curls of her loosened hair fell forward, haloing her in red. Then the carriage jerked forward, and Fellows’ view of her was lost.
Lost. A good word. Fellows remained on the street, watching the receding carriage for too long, until it disappeared into the April mists.
Chapter Twelve
“Do you want to talk about it?” Daniel asked.
Louisa jerked from her reverie, in which she saw, heard, and felt nothing but Lloyd’s warmth around her, his mouth on her, his strong hands . . .
“Talk about what?”
“What happened upstairs,” Daniel said. “I step away for five minutes, you come down flushed and mussed, not to mention distracted and upset. Did ye not like his attentions? Do I have to pummel him for you?”
Daniel, so young and eager—and so wide awake; did he never get tired?—watched her with a shrewdness that belied his youth.
Louisa couldn’t answer. She sank into the hard back of the hansom’s seat, stifling a sigh. Isabella’s house on Mount Street wasn’t impossibly far from Whitehall, but the hansom went slowly, and she knew the ride would be long.
“Ah,” Daniel said when the silence had stretched a while. “So you did like his attentions. That’s the trouble, is it?”
Louisa let out an exasperated breath. “I don’t know what he wants. That is the trouble. I don’t know.”
“Well, ye have to understand that when a gent looks at a beautiful woman, such as yourself . . .”
Daniel left it hanging. Louisa sat up. “Yes, I know very well what you are implying. And you are very flattering. But I have no idea if he wants anything more than that. Or if I do. Blast it all, it’s a terrible thing when I can’t trust my own thoughts. I don’t even know what I want.”
“I think you do.”
“Yes, of course I do,” Louisa snapped. “I want to not have gone into the tea tent with the Bishop of Hargate. I want Mr. Fellows not to be so standoffish with me. I want to be his friend. More than his friend. I want . . . Oh, Danny, it’s so confusing.”
“Not really. You’re falling in love with him. Or are already in love with him.”
“But am I? Or just . . . overwhelmed?”
“Love is overwhelming. Look what your sister did when she met my uncle Mac. She lost her head and ran away with him the very night she met him. She was just eighteen, younger than I am now. Whatever Mac thinks, Isabella
would never have done anything so reckless if she hadn’t fallen crazily in love with him.”
“She might have,” Louisa said darkly. “Isabella was always headstrong.”
“She is headstrong.” Daniel gave Louisa another assessing look. “Let me guess—Isabella was the bold one, while you were always the good girl. The one who stayed home, behaved herself, never did anything to upset people. Am I right?”
“Yes.” Louisa thumped her hands to the seat. “You are absolutely right. I never did anything. I stayed quiet and obedient and did what was expected of me. And what was my reward? People pitying me, whispering about my scandalous family. So I decided to look for a respectable husband to make them stop pitying me. Now I’m accused of murder, and I’m letting the detective in charge of the investigation kiss me senseless.”
“Ah ha, is that what went on upstairs when my back was turned?”
“Yes.” Louisa’s face heated. “If you must know, yes.”
Daniel grinned. “You didn’t really have to tell me, you know. The stars in your eyes, your hair coming down, the pretty flush on your cheek, all betrayed you.”
“And you mustn’t tell anyone.” Louisa pinned him with a severe look. “Promise me, Daniel.”
Daniel raised his hands. “Never worry. I always keep the confidences of my great friends. Now, what you have to decide is what you’re going to do about this falling-in-love business. Ignore it and pursue your respectable marriage? With Gil Franklin, I’m thinking? You won’t have to push hard for a proposal there, I’d wager. Or wait and see if Fellows tries to kiss you again? Or asks more of you?”
“He won’t,” Louisa said glumly.
“Which he? Won’t do what?”
“Mr. Fellows won’t ask anything of me. He barely speaks to me. I have no idea why he kisses me, except for the fact that I’ve thrown myself at him several times now. He must think me depraved. I’m not certain he’s wrong.”
Daniel watched her. “This is all fascinating. I had no idea it had gone this far.”
“Nothing has gone far at all,” Louisa said in exasperation. “I’m behaving like a flighty, ridiculous woman who’s been sitting on the shelf so long she’s starting to go mad. It’s the only explanation for my insanity. You’re right—I should tell Gil I welcome his attentions, marry him, and have done.”
Louisa turned abruptly to the window so Daniel wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. If she married Gil, she could never let herself be alone with Fellows again. She couldn’t trust her own body not to react to him or trust herself to remain sensible and not succumb to desire. Even now she couldn’t banish the sensation of Fellows’ burning kisses, the feeling of his mouth on her skin, and the knowledge of how much she wanted him.
“Yes, live in misery the rest of your life,” Daniel said. “That will show everyone.”
Louisa turned back. Let him see the tears. What did she care? “It won’t be in misery. Gil is a gentleman. He’s courteous and kind, never rude, generous, good-hearted . . .”
“And dull. I hear it in your voice. You’re trying to be fair to him because he is a good chap. But dull. You’d do the same thing every day, he’d never do anything unexpected, never make you wonder what was going on in his head. Gil is transparent. Makes him a fine bloke to play cards with, because I win every hand, but probably very tedious to live with.”
Louisa wanted to hotly defend Gil, who’d been a friend to her tonight when no one else had, but the words died on her lips.
Daniel wasn’t wrong. Louisa liked Gil immensely, she always had, but she didn’t love him. She’d never be interested in him in the way she wanted to understand what was inside Lloyd Fellows. When she saw Lloyd, she wanted to follow him, be with him, listen to him, touch him, make him understand that he wasn’t alone. Louisa was fascinated by Fellows’ job, wanted him to talk to her about it and confide in her, and she wanted to confide in him.
She leaned her head back on the seat. “It’s hopeless. Inspector Fellows is very conscious of his position in life, and mine.”
“That is true. He’s a snob. I’ve found that working-class chaps generally are. Any hint of getting above yourself is ruthlessly quashed. The posh should stay posh; the honest workers should stay honest workers. And Fellows has always seen himself as an honest worker. More so once he realized his dad was never going to acknowledge him. The working classes, now, they tolerate me because I’m such an honest bloke, and I don’t try to change them.”
Louisa had to laugh. “And you’re not conceited at all.”
“I’m all sorts of conceited, I know that. I’m very clever and see no reason to hide it. On the other hand, being clever is no assurance of being great or finding success. Success takes bloody hard work too. I know that. But we’re not talking about me, Auntie Louisa. We’re talking about you and Uncle Fellows. And what we’re going to do about it.”
“We will do nothing about it. I will marry Gil or remain a spinster, and Inspector Fellows will go on being a policeman. Perhaps he’ll find a cheerful working-class woman to marry him, and his life will become simple and pleasant.”
“Listen to yourself. Poor martyred Louisa. I predict that Fellows will solve this murder and then sweep you off your feet.” Daniel shrugged. “Well, the sweeping-you-off-your-feet part might take a little nudge. But he wants to do it. It’s a beautiful thing to watch the way he looks at you. Fellows glared at Gil tonight as though he wanted to find a claymore, learn how to use it, and finish him off. Or just pull out a pistol and shoot him.”
Louisa gave up. She leaned across the seat in the rattling coach and kissed Daniel’s cheek. “You are sweet, Danny. A complete madman, but a very sweet one.”
“Aw, Auntie. You know I love you. I’m devastated ye won’t pick me as your husband, but if not, I’m happy to help you land one of your own.”
“Pish. You haven’t fallen in love yet, so you don’t understand how very awful it can be. I used to be a rational girl, and now I’m doing foolish things like running about London in the middle of the night and letting police inspectors kiss me senseless. I shall be all right. It will pass. And when you do fall in love, Daniel Mackenzie, I shall laugh at you.”
“No fear of that. I enjoy ladies, as both friends and lovers, but I will let nothing stand in the way of my inventions.”
“So say you. Well, here I am,” she said as the carriage pulled to a halt in front of Isabella’s house. “Thank you, Danny.”
Daniel gallantly leapt down and handed her out. He surprised Louisa by pulling her into a crushing hug before he let her go. “Never worry, Auntie,” he said softly. “I’ll make sure all is well.”
He gave her a kiss on the cheek, another hug, and then backed away and waved good night. Louisa hurried into the house, Morton the butler pulling the door open for her before she reached the doorstep. Daniel called good night again, leapt into the hansom, and rattled off.
Louisa wasn’t sure whether to take hope from Daniel’s words or worry about what mad thing he’d take it into his head to do. Either way, most of her thoughts were still focused on Fellows’ kisses, the strength of his body on hers, the look of dark desperation in his eyes when he’d backed away from her.
She had to be right. It was hopeless.
Louisa went up the stairs, not stopping on the landing that led to her bedchamber. She kept climbing, up to the nursery to quietly slip inside and kiss the three sleeping children good night. She sat there after that, in the dark, watching them sleep, soaking in the calming silence.
***
“The guv’s asking for you,” Sergeant Pierce said to Fellows, looking apologetic. “Says now, sir.”
Damnation. Fellows looked up from the fifty statements he was going over again, meticulously, trying to decide who was telling the truth. They were all lying—people did that to the police—but usually for reasons that had nothing to do with the case. Fellows
had to sift through and pick out the important lies from the unimportant ones.
He’d been here since the early hours, after going home last night and trying to sleep. Not possible. Fellows had lain awake, staring at the whitewashed ceiling above his bed, which reflected every passing light, the moon, streetlights.
In the reflections he saw Louisa, her red hair coming down, the sultry look in her eyes when he’d lain her back on the desk. He heard her voice, low and vibrant, saying his name. Lloyd.
He’d do anything to have her say it to him like that again.
Sleeping being out of the question, Fellows had come in to see if he could make sense of all this mess.
“Now?” Fellows repeated irritably.
“Yes, sir. Says it’s urgent.”
Fellows heaved an aggrieved sigh, slammed papers aside, got to his feet, and headed out of the room. Constable Dobbs was just coming in with cups of tea, and the two met in the doorway. Fellows turned sideways to move past him. Dobbs turned red. The constable’s hands shook so hard that tea sloshed from the full cups and splashed to Fellows’ shoes.
“Watch yourself, Constable,” Fellows snapped, then he was past and striding down the hall.
Detective Chief Superintendent Giles Kenton had been Fellows’ superior for nearly five years. It had been Kenton who’d lifted his former superior’s restrictions on Fellows’ promotions, put in place when Fellows had been fanatically pursuing the Mackenzies for murder.
Kenton had made clear that Fellows needed to have a care in who he offended with his obsessive investigations. Kenton was a good man to work for, though, because he recognized that Fellows had a unique way of solving his cases and that his clear-up rate was better than most.
Kenton waved Fellows to the only other chair in his office, keeping his attention on the papers that littered his desk. That was a good sign. No sitting upright, hands on the desk, gaze trained on Fellows. Just Kenton doing what he usually did.